I am a new person.

I am a new person. Or am I? Not at all, I’ve always been exactly who I am. But in the mirror stands some goofy Jesus fella with Norway flowing from his thin beard. And Italian of his eyelids.

I cancelled my gym membership. What changed? Nothing. I wasn’t going. It’s not fun for me to pump n dump among lunk n chunks. Self-actualization slowly progressing.

I am listening to the song “The Groove Line” by Heatwave right now. It’s such a funky fun classic, but it also evokes another dimension of sadness. But in a recent conversation with my buddy Beer, I realized for myself that any kind of mind-altering thing doesn’t alter anything at all. It reveals what is already there. So maybe I will hold hands with this sadness that was already there.

Some of the best music I’ve ever heard evokes great sadness in me. I don’t think that this music is objectively sad, I think it touches my core with ease. Like a key unlocking a door. Art is a key that opens up doors in myself that otherwise would forever be closed.

About 20 times a day, I have to consciously relax my body. Lots of excitement and energy that make me physically tense. I weave myself a corset with every mindless “problem” I assume responsibility for. Problem is in quotations because there is no problem. That reminds me: what is awkwardness?

“Awkward” is misunderstanding. What is so bad about a misunderstanding? Let’s release our emotional reactions and idea of what we think is happening, communicate openly to find the same page, and move forward without any hangups.

I am now listening to the whole album “Central Heating” by Heatwave, which has that song “The Groove Line” on it. This song “Happiness Togetherness” from this album is really really nice. Oh! I think I just heard some trombone playing on it. I’ll be getting my hands on a trombone soon, and I’m excited to learn how to get good sounds from it. I really think that I might resonate with it. Metaphorically and literally! WEEEE!

There’s another instrument to mention! Beer is letting me borrow their electric organ keyboard! You better believe I’m going to touch the keys on that wood-boarded beast. And that’s all creating needs to be. Just touching and playing with stuff because it’s fun. It is NOT for seeking validation in others by pandering to someone else’s sensibilities. Bad word incoming: FUCK everyone else’s opinion when being creative. Sorry I said that bad word, opinion. I won’t elaborate much more on this idea anymore, because that’s just my own personal construct I’m exploring and releasing—making things FOR other people. Nah. I’m just playing legos on my own little island. While playing legos, all my thoughts are put on the backburner and fried until they are tender little biscuits I can drop-kick into my neighbor’s yard. Their dog eats it. I nourish the doggy AND myself by giving up my thought-biscuits. And I am left with the trees, thriving off nothingness. Still. I have what I need right in front of me. And I trust everyone else in this moment all over the globe has exactly what they need to engage with right in front of them.

Have a good day, take it easy. I have a hit-album to finish now! It’s a hit in my eyes, that is.