Maturing into an adult
I think a great mindset for myself is to liberate others. I would love to have that sentiment become a deeper part of myself. Buddhism would add, “liberate others from what?” Their answer would be to liberate from suffering. Makes sense to me. Sometimes I can be caught up in my own direction so much so that I think everyone else’s destiny is to follow MY path. But everyone has their own path. Best thing to do is to support them on theirs.
I might’ve breathed microplastics today, and I might’ve eaten moldy bread today, but I think I’ll be fine.
I am weaning off coffee. It uncomfortably amplifies my sensitivities and puts me right on the line before adrenaline spikes and panic attacks. I had some green tea this morning instead, and my body was normal. It is great to be normal. I’m so normal that I bought a nice button-down shirt at Target on clearnace for $9 today. Call me normal.
I only want to wear nice clothes now. My taste has suddenly changed, and I have become bored and bothered by t-shirts with logos. I think it is uncool for myself to continue wearing these t-shirts. It feels like I attended a convention a decade ago, got this promotional t-shirt from a company I do not care to support, and now out of laziness it is within my top few shirts in rotation today. It feels wrong to me now. Driving by Cirque du Soleil the other day, I witnessed the many attendees getting out of their cars and walking to the entrance. All the women were beautifully dressed and put together. Good job ladies! Beside them walked all these TRUCKER BOY DADS wearing…logo t-shirts, sandals, baseball hats, trucker hats, ratty shorts, nicotine gum, etc. Boys, c’mon. This is a jarring lack of effort. So glad all the automobile companies from 20 years ago are represented here at Circle Sun Do Cartwheels. I can’t grasp the culture around me when all the boyos do not care to represent themselves, but represent companies instead. I guess culture around my area is companies. I want to represent myself. It’s ironic that the usual business-wear within these companies is the nice button-up shirts and all.
I am such a gemini. I said I want to support people earlier in this post, and now I’m being critical of people doing what I was doing just yesterday (wearing a t-shirt)…I don’t believe in astrology.
Now, I actually am also a boy that does not care how I look. Where my sudden philosophy comes in, is that your effort into your own presentation is a sign of respect to others. It shows that you are in control of yourself. A safe, good person. Truly. “Godspeed, respectful sir. Your buttoned shirt is so natural, I didn’t even see it.” That’s how I’d like it. It has nothing to do with your own personal gain, but all to do with making the world a little bit more beautiful. Even though the ease of a t-shirt is nice, I’m not in the mood for ease. It seems that my effort put towards my own presentation of self puts other people’s minds at ease. I wore a nice shirt today and a lady felt totally comfortable asking me a question about something. That was nice that she felt comfortable. (I then dabbed, stole her purse, and ran into a wall, proving that even the nicest dressed man can be a psychopath! Jk.)
It’s been a few weeks since deleting all my social media accounts (not sure if this blog is considered social media). My favorite part about it has been the space it’s allowed my brain during the in-between moments. MY SPACE, you could say. Ideas naturally start to come up as the brain now has time to process things. It’s honestly hilarious that this has any novelty at all—AH! A THOUGHT APPEARED! I’M THINKING, DAD! The truth is, sometimes nothing happens in a moment, and that’s the way it should be. And it feels good to acknowledge that nothing is happening. It is ok and peaceful. Smile at the nothing. After some nothingness, I may start to ponder my goals for the day. I end up working towards those goals. Problem solving is made easier when not distracted by social media, or even distracted by the craving of social media. I also am realizing how intense the competitive aspect of social media is. It is so hard to feel valued when the numbers are right there to tell you someone else is doing “better” than you. Buddhism would ask, “Better than you at what?” Better at suffering. Makes sense to me! Haha. I’m not actually sure if Buddhism would say that, but it does make sense to me, and the call-back seemed worth it.
Blog Conclusion: <coffee money = >clothes money
PS - Sorry if I sounded cynical about boys wearing shirts, anyone can do what they want. But I’m noticing that dressing nice is nice. Till next time!
